


Tripping Wizards

by vinniebatman



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, F/M, HP: EWE, Screw the Epilogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinniebatman/pseuds/vinniebatman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After dying, Cordelia Chase becomes one of the Powers that  Be, and decides that it's time to give heroes the happy ending they deserve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tripping Wizards

 Harry Potter is drunk. Blind, stinking, stumbling drunk. As is his best friend (or "mate" as the English say), Ron Weasley.  
  
Harry is one of the lauded heroes of the Second Dark War with Voldemort, along with Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Snape, and Draco. Draco had been a surprise. After killing Dumbledore to save Draco from Voldie's wrath, Snape had become Voldie's right hand wizard; but that didn't stop Snape from collaborating with the Order. And as angry, vengeful, and hot-headed Potter had been, no torture or punishment could have been worse than the guilt Sev felt at killing Dumbledore. Seven months after Dumbledore's death, Snape had been discovered and tortured to death. But by then the damage had been done. Snape had been feeding the good guys vital information, and the war would be over in three more months.  
  
Draco had quite publicly switched sides during the war. He wasn't able to kill Dumbledore, because despite his vile words and opinions, in the end, Draco wasn't a killer. While engaged in one of the initiation rites for the Death Eaters (this one was torturing a normal human girl), Draco had stunned the other Death Eaters, taken the girl, and switched sides. Now he's an outsider, loathed by his former friends and ignored by those he once tormented. And pining for a feisty girl who hates him. Dork.  
  
And Neville, sweet, dorky, wonderful Neville, ended up being one of the four who accompanied Harry into Voldemort's lair. After all the information from Snape, Death Eater's were being captured and killed left and right. But Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville had followed a hunch and located Voldemort's lair. Harry killed him and ended the war. Of course, Neville's parents are still in St. Mungos, crazy. And grandmother died of a severe stroke. Now Neville doesn't know how to live his life. He's been so used to the order of Grandmother's house and Hogwarts that this freedom is daunting.  
  
Then there's Ron and Hermione. God, those idiots! I swear, I'm going to kill them someday if they don't stop playing games and start dating!  
  
Ginny is still mooning over Harry, missing the guy that's right under her nose, pining for her in such a pathetic way. You've probably figured out who it is after a few minutes, and after all this time, she hasn't. She needs to 1) get a clue, 2) get out of Ron's shadow and 3) become her own person. But I'll give her points because she is looked after and coddled by six brothers. Or is seven? Hell, I'm a higher power and even I can't keep them all straight.  
  
And Harry is still lost. He has no family, not even the Dursleys. They were murdered during the war. He feels alone despite the surrogate family he has. And the purpose he's had for the past eight years is gone. He needs to figure out his direction for life.  
  
But back to the present. Harry is drunk, very, very drunk. And who am I? I am Cordelia Chase, one of the Powers that Be, and self-proclaimed defender of champions. Because while champions get to save the world, their lives suck. And that's where I come in....

  
* * * * * * * * * * * * 

At 12 Grim... whatever the address is, the party is in full swing. After turning 18, Harry didn't want the house, which wasn't a shock. I mean, _hello_? Not only was it ugly and moldy and gross, there was that screaming witch picture. But to Harry, it was a reminder of Sirius' death. But one day Molly had run into the house, screaming excitedly. As it turned out, she'd met Gerda Von Uberheblich. She was a professional interior designer witch, and a famous one at that. In one month, she'd completely redecorated the house Grim Place, making it a home. The house looked old fashioned, warmed and lived it. I personally would have gone for something more modern, but to each his own.  
  
That had been several weeks ago, so Harry was finally having a house-warming party. It has started as dinner and had continued through the night. Molly and Arthur returned to the Burrow about three hours ago, followed by Bill and his wife Fleur. Remus and Tonks left next, heading for their house.  
  
Now everyone is in the drawing room, drinking and chatting. Hermione is sitting on the couch with Ginny and Luna, talking about a guy they know named Oliver Wood. Apparently he's _quite_ the hottie so I may just have to pay Ollie a visit while he's showering. Hey, I may be a power, but I am not dead. Okay, so I am dead, but my spirit isn't. Neville is sitting with Charlie Weasley, talking about the eating habits of dragons. Fred, George, and Ron are discussing the newest additions to the joke shop and Harry is sitting next to them, pretending to be a part of the conversation. But after all those years around Angel, I so know brooding when I see it. It's time for phase one. With a flick of my finger, Hermione decides to finally go to sleep, even though she's been considering it for two hours.  
  
Hermione's stands up. "Alright, I'm tired. I think I'll head to bed now." With a tiny nudge her way, she stumbles on her first step and lands on her butt. And suddenly I'm thinking drunk girl didn't need a nudge. And Ron, sweet, oblivious dumb-ass Ron wonders if he should get up and help her up the stairs. Then he wonders if she'll get mad at him for implying she can't do it herself. Taking pity on the big lug I send an affirmative vibe his way, and he stands up.  
  
"I'm exhausted, think I'll head up," he says, loudly. I wince. God, way to be _not_ sneaky, Ron. He walks over to Hermione and I peek in his mind. He's going to say "Need some help, 'Mione?" That will not work. At all. So I whisper another idea.  
  
"Hey 'Mione, reckon you can help me up the stairs? I don't feel too good," he says. Hermione straightens her back.  
  
"Sure Ron," she says back, smiling. God, that girl is so severe, but give her a glass of wine and she's all smiles and puppies, especially in Ron's direction. It's kinda cute. They get up the stairs fine, but once Ron helps Hermione into the bed she uses when she visits, I have him to sit at the foot of her bed instead of leaving. That's all it should take.  
  
"What are you doing, Ron?" she asks. Ron is drunk and happy. He's never been a good liar, and is even worse at it now.  
  
"Watching you." The words clear through the haze of alcohol and Hermione's sharp mind latch onto them.  
  
"Watching me? Why?" Stripped of the denials and worries that usually cloud and circle his mind, Ron tells the truth.  
  
"'Cause you're beautiful." Hermione's eyes widen. It's the one thing she's always wished he'd say, but never thought he would.  
  
"You really think so?" she asks, suddenly bashful. Ron lays down beside her and pulls her close.  
  
"I always have," he shrugs. Pulling her close, he drops a chaste kiss on her lips, then relaxes. They both fall asleep smiling. It should be enough for them to start a relationship. But I'll check in on them in th morning to make sure the don't say anything stupid. Again.  
  
Phase one is complete, time for phase two. I pop back downstairs. Charlie is still talking to Neville about dragons, which won't work. I tickle his mind and he suddenly remembers.  
  
"Blimey, I forgot! I've got to return to Romania tomorrow morning. I'd better be off," he says, surprised. He stands up and starts to weave on his feet. He usually doesn't drink more than a pint or two on average, so after all the fire whiskey he had tonight, he's pretty plastered. Fred and George watch him, smirking until he almost falls.  
  
"Alright then?" Fred or George asks. God, those two. They'll swell up your tongue, make you vomit, and turn you purple, but if it's not them hurting you, they suddenly start worrying. I swear, they're worse than Xander. Charlie smiles.  
  
"I'm great!" He says as he keeps waving his wand around, flicking and trying to do a spell. "Bloody hell, I can't apparate. I forgot how!" he says, scandalized.  
  
Fred and George snort. "You can't apparate from the house, it's warded you git. Remember?"  
  
One of them shakes his head and walks to the fire place.  
  
"I'll floo home, George," the one who must be Fred says. "Then have Charlie go through and I'll catch him."  
  
"Sure thing," George answers, steering Charlie to the fireplace.  
  
Fred grabs a handful of powder and throws in into the fire. "The Burrow!" As he disappears into the flames, George pushes Charlie into the fireplace and hands him some powder. In a few minutes, they've gone home. With them out of the way, now the only people left in the room are Neville, Luna, Ginny and Harry. It's time phase three.  
  
Even though we weren't the best of friends, over the years, I've kept and eye on Buffy and the others. Dawn is straight up turning into Mini-Giles, but with fashion sense. She's going to Oxford, but spends weekends in the city at the British Museum and Watcher's headquarters, working. The Headquarters are also in the same borough at Grimmauld Place.  
  
Dawnie has reached the middle ground that most Champions should aim for. She grew up fast and wants nothing more than to help fight the good fight, but be happy at the same time. She understands the reality of the world and the need for sacrifice, but she also understands the need to balance word saving with a normal life. Nothing stops her from smiling and enjoying life, including shopping. She has great taste in shoes.  
  
I pop over to see her leaving headquarters after a late night of researching. I know from watching her over the months that before she leaves at night, she calls Buffy, who meets her at the station near their apartment. When Dawn catches the Underground, all it takes a distraction haze. Moving on automatic, she gets off one station too early and starts walking. I nudge her and she starts getting lost instead of calling a cab. Now I may never have played Risk, but I'm good enough to juggle a few things at once. So as she starts walking again, phase four begins. I send an electrical charge into the clouds and it starts to rain.  
  
"Ah crap," she whines.  
  
She ends up in a neighborhood; not the nicest, but not a ghetto. Growling, she pulls out her mobile and calls a cab, not Buffy like she normally would have. Since she's never seen the address, she shouldn't be able to see Harry's house. But with her magical ability, it's easy for me to adjust her eyes to see it. Since it was recently redecorated, it's the nicest house on the street. I send her a wave positive energy until the house looks safe and inviting. Dawn walks up to the house and rings the bell. Inside, the remaining party goers look at each other. Who would be here so late at night? Harry runs/stumbles downstairs to the door, followed by Ginny, Luna, and Neville.  
  
"It- it's a muggle," he says, frowning, as he looks out the peephole. Damn, what is it with this group? You give them some fire whiskey and they lose _all_ control of the volume of their voice.  
  
"What would a muggle be doing here? How can she see the house?" Neville asks, adorkably befuddled. Luna starts talking about a magical flower that destroys wards but is only found in India, and Neville listens to her attentively. After a few minutes, Ginny shoves Harry away from the peephole and looks out.  
  
"She's soaking wet and shivering!" she yells. "Let her in Harry, maybe she's a witch or something!" Chastised, he opens the door, prepared to reach for his wand.  
  
"Hi, I'm sorry to bug you guys, but I got lost," Dawn says with a smile. "Could I wait here for my cab?" Harry stares, his mouth part open as he stares at Dawn. Whatever the monks did, they did it right. With long legs, a cute smile, beautiful hair and gorgeous blue eyes, Harry is dumbstruck, looking like some one just slapped him upside the head with a fish.  
  
"Oh for Merlin's sake, Harry, move!" Ginny grabs Dawn's arm and pulls her in. "You're soaked, let me get a change of clothes for you," Ginny says, fussing over Dawn.  
  
Dawn smiles and I wait for the pieces to connect in her mind. "Thanks, but they said the cab should be here in fifteen minutes. Why don't you guys don't have an electricity?" she asks, looking at the walls and noticing no lamps or electronics. After all those years on a Hellmouth (and because she's just a giant brain), she notices the small inconsistencies. She frowns, then snaps her fingers and smiles. "Wait, that's why this place feels funny, you guys are wizards and the house is warded, right?"  
  
Ginny's eyes widen, as do Neville's and Luna's. Well, Luna's eye just get wider.  
  
"Uh, no, the power is broken," Harry lies, wincing. Dawn rolls her eyes.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
With an exasperated sigh that sounds like her mother's, Ginny rolls her eyes. "Well take her to the drawing room, Harry, and I'll get her a cup of tea. Neville, you and Luna can wait for the cab." As Harry takes Dawn to the upstairs, she studies the house.  
  
"This is a nice place. Who owns it?" she asks as they sit down.  
  
"Uh, well I do, actually," Harry stutters, Dawn's eyes widen.  
  
"You rich?" she asks, then winces. Nice one Dawn, that's right, look like a gold-digger and ask stupid questions. Way too much Buffy in that girl. They don't even hear the knock on the door or the voices downstairs.  
  
"Oh, no I inherited it from my family. I didn't buy it or anything," he answers, rushing to explain. Dawn smiles at him, and Harry catches himself staring at her... again. Blushing he runs his hand through his hair, revealing his scar. Dawn stares at it, chewing on her lip.  
  
"Wait, I know who you are, you're-."  
  
"Harry Bloody Potter, hero of the wizarding world, scar head, and general nuisance." Harry and Dawn turn to see Draco standing at the door.  
  
"DRACO!" Ginny bellows, shoving him out of the way to hand Dawn a cup of tea. Harry stands, glaring and getting righteously angry.  
  
"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" he growls. You know, Potter may not be a vampire, but he can growl pretty damn well.  
  
Draco smirks. "Well, after Dawn didn't arrive at the station, Buffy called and woke up every Council member." Potter starts frowning, looking so adorable before looking at Dawn.  
  
"You know him?" he asks, so suspicious.  
  
"Yeah, we work together at the Watcher's Council," Dawn answers, sipping at her tea. "He's our Ministry Liaison."  
  
"Wait, Watcher's Council? What's that?" Harry asks. Draco rolls his eyes.  
  
"They watch over the slayers," Ginny answers, surprised that Draco is actually working and not living off his inheritance.  
  
"How did you find me, Draky-Poo?" Dawn asks, standing.  
  
"Point me spell, easy." Shaking her head, Dawn walks to the stairs before turning and looking at Harry again.  
  
"It was nice to meet you Harry. Maybe I'll see you around," she smiles. I smile as I feel Draco's ire rising; the next minute is the pinnacle of phase four. It starts with Draco rolling his eyes.  
  
"Bloody hell, Summers, let's go. You can flirt with Potter later," he sneers. Harry and Dawn turn red, Harry from embarrassment, Dawn from anger.  
  
"Shut up, Draco! You don't need to be a jerk just because you've been pining over Ginny Weasley for five years. Ass," Dawn shoots back. And success! Ginny's mouth drops open as she turns to Draco, who's face has become an unnatural shade of red. Marching over to a still-drunk but getting sober Harry, Dawn fishes a business card out of her purse and hands it to him.  
  
"Give me a call sometime," she smiles. "Or you know, an owl or whatever."  
  
A dopey grin spreads across Harry's face, and for the first time in years, he has something to look forward to other than fighting and killing the baddie. Harry and Dawn aren't going to ride off in the sunset right away or anything; he just needs to know that there are still good things to look forward to. As Dawn marches down the stairs, Ginny gapes at Draco, the corner of her mouth lifting in a smile. Draco may be an ass at times, but he's hot. And knowing that he has a crush on her causes Ginny to reevaluate ferret boy.  
  
"Sod off, Weasel," he huffs, embarrassed, before following Dawn down the stairs. Dawn is already planning on getting in touch with Ginny, I can practically hear the mischievous gears turning in her head. Harry leaves the room and practically floats up the stairs, smiling as he goes to bed. Ginny stomps up the stairs after him, determined to yell at Draco some other time. In the drawing room, Neville and Luna sit down on the couch, the sudden silence of the house strange.  
  
"We should probably go to bed," he says, entranced by the way her silver eyes are locked onto the fire.  
  
"I'll stay up; I like to watch the flames. They dance around, almost like faeries," she says, smiling. The girl isn't crazy or odd. She does understand that some of the things she believes in are unlikely. But she still believes because it keeps her world from becoming grey and boring. Which is exactly what Neville needs, someone to show him all the joy in life. I know I would have picked on him if we'd gone to school together, but he really is a wonderful person. A dorky but wonderful guy.  
  
As minutes pass, Luna falls asleep on Neville's shoulder and his face turns red. He starts to wake her, but I start phase five. He quickly falls asleep with the relaxing vibes I send his way. In the morning, the small crushes they used to have on each other will return on their own. I won't need to help them again; their gentle and sweet natures will draw them together. Neville will romance Luna and treat her like a treasure instead of an oddity. And underneath that dreamy exterior, Luna has the fire to keep them from drifting apart. God, I wish the other couples had been this easy.  
  
As the house falls silent, I drift away. No long lasting relationship can be created with a snap of my fingers. They just needed help getting off the ground. Hmm... wonder if I could get one of them to name their first daughter Cordelia.


End file.
